Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
The Front Porch has changed. Still on the top of a sun filled hill except when it is fogged in or rainy (the Front Porch is extra nice to be at in the rain). The flowers are bursting with color and there is a new space on the porch, a Spiritual Life Coaching space.
www.frontporchcoaching.com See Front Porch Coaching for a Spiritual Life Coaching experience.
January 20, 2012
Releasing and Welcoming
Sweeping the front porch every morning is an important cleansing ritual that prepares the ground for new energy.
“In some of our lives, sweeping has become an activity performed without much thought. In many cases, sweeping is a lost art, replaced by the noisy, efficient vacuum cleaner. But in several cultures and religions, sweeping the front and back porch every morning is regarded as an important cleansing ritual that prepares the ground for new energy on every level—physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. It is often employed to sanctify a space and prepare it for a ceremony. This seemingly simple action has the power to clear away the old and make space for the new. It stirs up the energy in a place, clearing out the astral buildup that is the natural by-product of the presence of humans.
This kind of sweeping is not about cleaning the area of dust. In fact, the broom doesn’t have to actually touch the ground to be effective. You might want to consider having two different brooms, one you use for cleaning dust and dirt, and one you use for energy clearing. If you are so inspired, you could decorate your broom by carving its handle, painting it, decorating it with gemstones and ribbons, or any other creative adornment that appeals to you. You can also make your own broom out of tree branches and twigs, or choose a naturally appearing broom from nature, such as a pine bough.
Sweeping each morning prepares the ground for the new day at the same time as it deepens our awareness of the importance of letting go of the past to welcome the present. As we clear the energy of our space, we clear our own energy systems. In addition, we create a space that feels clean, clear, and open to all who enter. Be sure to think welcoming thoughts as you sweep, manifesting what you need for the day. Making sweeping part of our daily ritual tunes us into the continuing cycle of releasing the old and welcoming the new that is the hallmark of a healthy energy system.” The Daily Om
Sweeping the Front Porch is needed often in my home. This time of year it is to keep excess sand from tracking into the house. Then in late Winter, early Spring I will do an intensive sweeping when it seems the last of the sand trucks will be heard coming up the hill. Some years there is enough sand along the curb that can be scooped up for the next season of ice and snow (which around here could be the following week).
This Winter has been different. More often mild than not, far less snow than usual. Oddly less, frighteningly less snow. Frightening because we expect the worse, can’t imagine the luck will last and ultimately prove ourselves right. Of course there will be more snow, there is February, March, April and May still to come in New England. But this year it is clear that people are appreciating our good fortune. Everyone is grateful and that makes the cold days feel warmer.
Yesterday as I listened to a friend with an Energy Healing practice I could see she hesitated in speaking of her good news. It seems we believe that even speaking of good things in our lives can diminish them immediately, jinx them even. Count on it! Things won’t look the same, as good; it won’t all turn out as it seems possible today but underneath the dirt on the porch is still my Front Porch. Underneath her doubt and fear is still her healing practice that is growing and has a new home. Underneath the healing practice is a woman who can help others in big ways. Underneath the doubts and fears is seeing her hard work pay off. When she sees dirt in the form of change, doubt or fear on the floor of her healing practice she has a choice. Let it sit there and accumulate or sweep it away.
When we sweep, the front porch, the kitchen floor, the floor of our healing practice, we are not just cleaning up a mess. We are making room for more. The doubts and fears we have around all parts of our life are going to keep coming just like dirt under my kitchen table. Guaranteed. Don’t ignore, don’t wish it away. Just don’t let it accumulate until you can’t see what is underneath.
When the dirt of doubt and fear and change builds up get out whatever tool you need to sweep it away. Here are some ways to let sweeping away things happen for you.
Get out your sturdy broom and clean floors
Get an energy healing
Talk to a friend who will listen
Talk to a friend who will kick you in the butt if needed
Walk on the Earth and see how important dirt is for growing things
Sit on the porch and let the wind do it
Naming your energetic dirt is the best way to begin. Sometimes you have to do one of the above to get there but if you can call your dirt for what it is you will find you have the best possible broom in your hand to get the job done.
Named more than our ‘fears and doubts’ our energetic dirt will be very personal and have an energy of its own. These are the commandments that we personally have with our self.
I don’t deserve this.
I never get what I want so why bother to ask.
I have no will power.
True love is not possible.
I cannot say how great I am doing.
I will never forget what (he, she, they) did to me.
I cannot trust anyone.
Those are examples of energetic dirt. Once we see what kind we have they can be changed with new commandments.
I am grateful for everything.
My life is sacred too.
I have what I need to get where I want to be.
Love is great, period.
By saying out loud how great I am doing I am also helping others to see their greatness.
I let go of the stories that fill my head and only get in my way.
I trust my self and I am always protected.
Trust that what you want to call yours is real and trust there is a different commandment waiting for you in your Soul to change it. Then watch the magic happen in your shiny clean dirt free life… until more dirt blows in on the breeze and gifts you with more to discover and grow with.
Remember to not judge your dirt. It isn’t like a cake making contest, everyone’s energetic dirt is ultimately the same. Contact Front Porch Healing to get started sweeping yours.
Once upon a time I decided to get a tattoo. I knew where it would be and I knew what it would look like. A fairy angel with a magic wand. She would flitter above where my left breast use to be and out of her wand would be dashes of golden angel dust. The sparkling bits would be full of blessings and they would be singing thanks to that most treasured part of me that sacrificed so much so I would live.
I am talking about breast cancer, loss of a body part but this is not a sad story. Fact is I can have fun at any time of most any day, two boobs or not. Like the time shortly after surgery when I walked into my kitchen during a birthday party for Jesus on Christmas Eve.
Two brother-in-laws looked at me with sad, serious and quizzical faces. They were not registering that I had a prosthesis, only that a month earlier I had surgery and one was removed. As I walked out of the kitchen I turned back towards them and I said, “Didn’t you know they grow back?” I left them to clean up the mess when they spit out their beer in laughter. It seemed a good sign that I could be funny and casual over this. It wasn’t so funny when I went in for my tattoo.
Another fact is I have never gotten use to having just one breast when I dress in the morning. I have never said that out loud before; nor have I even admitted it to myself. Eighteen years later the pain lingers. Not in the scar but in what else is not there, my badge of honor. I wanted so much to have it. If I couldn’t have two breasts I could at least fancy it up with a tattoo.
When I walked into the tattoo shop that day I thought it would be an easy deal. I was nervous but I knew what it would feel like because a doctor had placed tattoos on me so the radiologist could nuke me from a distance. I thought I was carefree about my physical change and I had a sense of humor about it. But I was ignorant too. I didn’t expect the reaction; I was not prepared for the tattoo artist to flinch at the idea of no breast on my chest. With heart broken and my self-esteem shaken I left without the angel and I left with a new scar called shame.
The name of that tattoo has sat on my chest all these years.
Now and seriously, can we ever stop being surprised at how the universe works? Another blessed long weekend in Maine, sitting at the ocean, health, happiness and fun in the sound of the waves. Suddenly, like it came right out of the blue water, it is all those years ago again. I was sitting in an Adirondack chair in Maine but I was really back at the tattoo shop of the past and I did not like it. I say very little and instead sit quietly with my thoughts… Same old story but I can live with it. I will. That is what I do.
It is going to be different this time. I don’t believe that yet but the ‘hope’ thing starts to grow.
Turns out there are two real live angels with me! One surprises me first with her decision then her determination and excitement to get a tattoo and the other surprises me with her telling my story. We have so many angels in our lives. Thanks to two of them in my life I have my badge of honor, I have my tattoo and she is of course an angel!
Wait; there is more to this personal story. Getting this tattoo done still was not easy. Not for me. I so wanted this tattoo and as we had our day of shopping in Freeport, laughing and sharing the tattoo began its life. No one would ever see it unless I showed them. No one would even know unless I told them. Yet it has only been a few days and I keep forgetting it is there. That is because it was never about the tattoo.
It was about asking for what I want and how angels come to us in so many ways.
Sitting at the beach with the beautiful Atlantic, the birds and nice weather I was once again dying on the inside. I could see the battle being waged in my head while my heart stood back waiting to see how much this would hurt. Seriously, don’t laugh here. The battle was over should I say yes, I want that tattoo, let’s go or let it go. Don’t dare take the risk! I was not afraid of getting the tattoo. I was terrified of being turned away again.
If I say yes, if I ask these two angels to come with me, let’s do it and for any reason it does not happen, again I will be hurt. Devastated and pissed. That scar on my chest healed quickly so many years ago but just like we all do I was making a new wound that would need to heal, AGAIN!
It wasn’t a surgeon with a knife this time, just me. I was terrified of not getting what I asked for because I wanted it so much. I sat there with this story bouncing back and forth like my head was a tennis court. Then I did it. I let the words come out like the line judge who gets to call the shots. First I quietly said “you don’t know what it is like to not have two breasts, it is not easy.” An angel nodded. She didn’t know but she did feel for me. And she loved me.
I had to make a decision. That I knew. Then I realized if I didn’t take this risk at this moment that this wound, the new scar across my chest that went straight into my heart would remain open and unhealed. If I chose to take the risk and it went badly it would eventually heal. This is me; at least I knew I wasn’t going to allow myself to have an open wound forever. Then there was the possibility that it was going to really happen. I don’t gamble but I am all about possibilities!
But wait there is more. Just like in those infomercials.
While the artist was doing his work I noticed the photo on the wall. It was a woman and she was important to this story, she had to be; her picture was otherwise out of place on the walls filled with tattoo parlor art. I watched her while the tattooing began.
Then I asked the artist while he worked on me about how was it that he not only had no problem doing this but also has done so many. The day before my sister-angel told him my story and in a quiet way he told her he does tattoos on women with breast cancer all the time. Without changing his breathe he told me about the woman who worked there and had died of breast cancer. He motioned towards the picture on the wall. An angel. He didn’t say much more just “three years ago.”
This man drawing the angel on my chest is quiet. He has a story but all I am going to get is that he has beautiful teeth, lots of hair and a slight accent that might be Canadian. And maybe he is an angel. I looked back and forth from his face to hers. I wondered if she was his mother.
Now I am wondering what this is really all about. It comes after wondering how to end this. Maybe that is the point of this Personal One. It doesn’t end. We don’t end. We are all angels. Fancy Plain or otherwise, do you know what your Angel work is?
At the top of my list of people who have taught, inspired and opened doors for me is Caroline Myss. Caroline began as writer (continues) and publisher and then discovered her ability as a medical intuitive. Now Caroline primarily teaches. Caroline is a mystic. http://www.myss.com
This is not a tribute to Caroline Myss though I am looking forward so much to seeing her again. She will be in Boston this November and my ticket is on the white board in front of me. There will be gazzilions of people and auditorium seating only but her energy is huge and mine is open to hers so much that I can sit farthest away and feel it. Okay, reminder, this is not about Caroline Myss.
It is about Truth. And funny that word has been jumping around in me all week as I ponder the actions of someone else and my re-actions and if they come from fear and ego won’t have Truth either.
Then Caroline came forward with an email on Truth. Of course. When you step in to who you are and you ask the universe to open your eyes and provide guidance it does not just come in the form of heavenly angels whispering in your ear at night.
It can come electronically in an email from someone you already admire or someone you never heard of before. You just have to have your eyes and ears open. The universe is no fool and computers, websites and emails are rudimentary tools in their eyes.
Caroline has provided me with what I need to look at around this issue that has got my ego in a twist this week. I don’t know how it will effect my actions yet but I do know that if I pray the outcome will be better than if I do not.
Here is her message.
TRUTH AS THE PULSE OF GOD
Stand in the power of this prayer . . .
“How will you come to me, Lord? How will I know you? How will I recognize you? I know you will come for me. You will slip into my being, perhaps in the middle of the night while I sleep. Maybe You will come for me when I am not looking for You, when I am distracted, staring into an oncoming storm, fearing my immortality.
Or maybe You will come to me in the midst of a lie that pours out of my mouth effortlessly. You will let me know You are listening as I listen to myself say something that is not true as easily as if I were giving the time of day. I tell myself that my lies are insignificant, that they don’t matter. How do I know what matters, what is significant? What if I am being tested? Observed? Did you know I put my conscience to sleep years ago? Maybe that’s how You will come to me – You will awaken my conscience like a sleeping dragon, one day, when I am weakened by disease, or fear, or loneliness, and I will be forced to face the truth that I fear You. I fear Truth. You are Truth itself, and I feel that power rumble like an earthquake through my being each time my eyes look into the eyes of another human being.
One word of Truth exchanged through the eyes of another is enough to bond two human beings for eternity, the power of a sacred union. No wonder we fear Truth. No wonder we fear You. How will you come to me, Lord? You will come through Truth. You will make me need You and I will come searching. You will make me shed my skin, my illusions, my weaknesses, like boils ready to burst on my burning flesh. And then, when I am broken, too weak to deceive even myself, there You will be, already resurrecting my soul. Somehow, Lord, I found this Truth already lodged in my heart. You’ve already come for me.”
In Caroline’s email she asks, actually Caroline tells us to turn off the distractions we are using at the moment and contemplate these questions.
1. What is Truth for you? Do you think about “truth” as something that is just the “opposite of lying,” or does Truth for you also have cosmic, mystical proportions?
2. Do you struggle with speaking the truth? Do you allow yourself to lie? A little? A lot? Daily? And let me make this easy for you: A lie means you are not telling the TRUTH. There’s no qualifier here.
3. Do you assume people lie? We live in a society in which lying is more acceptable than speaking the truth. For example, we assume that our politicians are liars, that financial and corporate cartels are liars – and guess what? We don’t care! We have grown so accustomed to a culture of lies that we have grown numb to it. So the question is, “Why have YOU personally chosen to become numb to this culture of lies?” And the more significant question, “How much influence has this dark culture of lies had upon the breakdown of your personal integrity?” Mind you, it may not have had any influence or it may have inspired you to become a Whistleblower, a person sick to death of all the lies in this society. Or you may have just caved in and drunk the kool-aid, deciding that if everyone else is doing it, saying things that aren’t true and getting away with it, what the hell.
4. When people call me for help because their health or their life is in crisis, they never, ever bring up Truth as their core point of crisis. But it always is. What Truths are you personally wrestling with? Asked differently, “What secrets have become too painful or heavy to carry?”
I am interrupted now by the sound of mail dropping into my mail box and I go to retrieve it. It is quite nice out this morning with the promise of changing weather and the hope that it will not get as hot as reported.
Truth is I have been listening to the mail truck coming up the hill, making the couple of stops and then turning at the top and coming my way. I thought it passed my house without stopping. As I cut and pasted Caroline’s words and contemplated my own; the Truth was in the mail delivery that I was listening to in the background.
I was thinking about if the item I was waiting for arrived what would my reaction be? If it was not how would I handle that. Truth is if it arrived or not should have no bearing on my Truth. Or so we are taught. It goes back to what the Truth is.
Truth is more than making a decision and not wavering. Truth is more than answering a question or stating a point that is completely factual. It is more than not telling tales, making up stories about others, hiding facts or creating drama where it does not exist.
Truth is looking at why. Truth is seeing, not just knowing that if that piece of paper was not in my mailbox that it would in my opinion allow me to act with words and certainly thoughts in a certain way. Really! Whose truth is that? Mine. Well not so fast. If we, alone on our own define what the truth is we are in big trouble. But it is exactly what we do.
We decide what is true and we live and die by it. We decide what is true and measure every step we take and we condone and condemn others and ourselves by what we decide.
Truth is nothing like that. We think It is based on how we define it but you know how that goes when we (humans) decide what is we are always far off the mark because of our ….. well I could make a huge list of what prompts our decisions, rules and definitions but I can only really come up with one. Truth is all about Fear.
Truth is not getting that piece of paper when I should have brought up fear around being labeled as something I wouldn’t agree with or much like. It meant someone, in my human opinion, was using and abusing power. And certainly was not being truthful with words. Truth is what happened on the other end of this piece of paper is not only not my business it has nothing to do with my Truth. But in protecting my self (from my own fears) I could let my ego take charge. It is a powerful force this ego of mine and I could stand behind it justified and honor bound and go to the mat for it. I could call that my Truth.
What happens when I open the mailbox and see what is there is what my Truth is; it is not on a mat. Truth is knowing that if I am touched either way by what is or is not there I own it. Truth is not about having no reaction, it is not about having no feeling in my gut or in my heart. It is about owning it. When I reach in and find it is not there and then feel angst coming up or feel nothing that I call “don’t care” the truth is owning both. If I carry the “what the heck is going on here” thoughts with me all day, truth is owning that. Truth is not saying it is caused by or belongs to someone else but owning that I think that.
Truth is an amazing tool. Without it Fear would do us in. Truth is we should not fear Truth. We should use Truth more often and know that the universe will let us know when we get it right. We will feel and it will feel great.
The piece of paper was not in the mailbox. Truth is that will not change or impact my day but if it did, well the day has not happened yet so if it does, I own it. I will endeavor to not judge my self whichever way it goes. And if (when) I do judge my self I will endeavor to be kind. Knowing that Truth alone answers every question that may come up makes it all right with the world on my end of the mail route. If my ego slips in with a delivery of fears I will pray for them to be rerouted quickly.
Knowing that Truth and God go hand in hand and are waiting for me on the Front Porch to enjoy the day makes it all so very good.
Thank you Caroline Myss for sending true words and wonder filled prayers to use in my conversations with God, the universe, on the Front Porch today.
For years I had no relationship with my Dad. The first 27 years were from my heart’s point of view perfect. Everything changed on a stormy Friday night. With my son, then a toddler, in hand we went to see him. Dressed in his Osh B Gosh jeans, yellow raincoat and a Match Box car in his little hand he was ready to run down the hall to see his Pop.
It is a guess and I will bet everything a perfect and correct guess that when he, my son, looked up at his Pop he was seeing magic. He saw a big smile, sparkling eyes that matched his and strong hands that held a life time. He couldn’t say all that but his joy at seeing Pop and playing at his feet said it for him.
Dad on the other hand was capable of expressing the thoughts and feelings jumping around in his heart but he couldn’t. He just couldn’t. Not like we think it should be done any way. You had to be listening when he wrapped his hand around yours or when he put it on the back of your neck to let you know he was there for you, my first experiences with Energy Healing.
When he sat in the kitchen with the ashes of his Kent dropping to the table and his thoughts so far away I thought he might disappear with them I would try to stay close by; I wanted to know what he knew and in case he disappeared into the places he was thinking about I would be able to grab at his t-shirt and go too.
But I knew then I couldn’t go, not to where his thoughts were anyway, so my plan was to just be there when he came back. I knew then he had a journey different than mine. That we all had different ones. I didn’t like what I knew back then.
And on the wet night full of beautiful rain I didn’t like the look on the faces of the people standing outside his room. They were going to tell me was gone. He did vanish and I wasn’t there when it happened.
So for the next many years I didn’t have him any more. He had left before I got to know what I really wanted to talk to him about. Before I could ask him what he saw when he looked out the kitchen window.
But when I say I didn’t have a relationship for those next many years I am wrong. My sadness and anger that he died, that he left me simply covered it up. Just because he wasn’t physically in my life of course didn’t mean he wasn’t there. It didn’t mean I had no relationship with him either. And I knew that too. It took me a while to see he was still sitting at the table looking out the window.
And I only have to see it differently to change it. How cool is that?
Now when I want to ask him what he knows he can tell me. I just have to ask and then listen. I can ask him if he did see magic when he looked at his grandson. And yes, of course he did. The magic we all come in with and that hangs around us forever, he still sees it.
Try looking at your relationship with your father differently today. Look at his face, his hands even if the only picture you have of him is in your mind. Look beyond the memories, questions, laughter, hurt, pain, joy or loss and see the little boy again. The little boy he once was.
See the magic and know that the relationship can be different; it can be whole if it has fallen into pieces; it can return if you think it is over. Even if joyfully he is really sitting across from you at the kitchen table. However the description you have in your head might be give him a hug that reaches all the way back to the little boy he once was. Touch the magic in him and let it touch you.
Even if there seems to be nothing else we do have magic. All of us. We may have to look at a baby to see it, look at a baby picture to know but it is there and it never goes away.
Front Porch Healing is peacefully participating in The Moment of Peace.
“The Moment of Peace” is an ambitious project to get 1 million people worldwide involved in an hour of mindful silence in an effort to help people find more meaning in their lives. It is the biggest single gathering of meditation, prayer and mindful silence in the history of the world … ever!
You can find information at www.themomentofpeace.com or simply turn off the TV, radio and computer, put down your cell phone, arguments, differences and weapons and just sit and be mindfully silent and present with your self for just an hour.
It might really be the biggest single gathering of silence in the history of the world but it is meant to be an hour so very well spent by you, for you.
There is no need to figure out time zones. The time to do it is when it is 8:00 pm where you are.
Join Front Porch Healing in being in silence for one hour. Remember it is not just about being peaceful on the planet for one hour but to be peaceful within you. Earth benefits but not until you do. Enjoy the pleasure of being with the one you love most, your Self. Then see peace everywhere.
I love it! We can ‘let go’ and ‘embrace’ at the same time. Really! It works. Check in with my dear friend, super classmate and Butterfly Mom Maria Salomao-Schmidt and you will see how it works.
Maria’s dream of being on Oprah is 20 years old. Not being in the audience but on the show. In the waning days of Oprah’s television broadcast it was time to let go. BUT Maria never stopped embracing her dream. And here she is, on the show, in the front row!!! With only 3 final shows to tape she did it!!! She did it BIG!
So letting go of a dream doesn’t mean it has ended. Forgetting a dream doesn’t mean it never existed. To embrace them though we have to find them.
With that we have to go back to the beginning. Our childhood, our birth, the time when we were explorers because every day we were making new discoveries and nothing could stop us. In those days when we didn’t know what a dream was we only knew there was something we wanted to be or do or have. It was the pencil on the counter or the book someone left behind but out of our little reach and in that moment it was our greatest desire to get it. And we usually did. Never mind the consequence, we wanted a cookie off the plate way up high on the table and we were going to do our very best to get it. Cry, climb, whine or simply ask. How many times did we not even know what was on the shelf? We couldn’t see up there but we were curious. That shelf held something and we wanted to find out what.
Then adults who forgot their dreams noticed us getting to the age when they lost theirs and so it was time for us to begin forgetting ours too. It isn’t a criticism of the grownups in our young lives or of ourselves as we have done the same. It is how man has developed and the why of it I leave to the people who dream about figuring that out.
For the rest of us it is time to let go and embrace.
You can let go in detail which is by making a list of all the reasons you don’t have your dreams anymore, the names of the people that stopped you and the things you have to overcome or achieve before beginning to embrace your dreams. That is a great way to stay right where you are.
Or you can let go just by letting go. Consider the book written on why and how you are where you are and close the damn thing. Okay, done that?
Now it is all about embracing. Embrace yourself to begin with. Embrace the child who with every blink of the eye was discovering something new and exciting. Who is the child before she was told she had to raise her hand before she spoke? He could not share with his new best friend beside him the exciting plan he just thought of without being reprimanded and maybe even sent to the corner of the classroom.
Before we were told the only questions we could learn answers to were already printed at the end of each chapter. Really! For a moment back then we knew that was wrong. We knew the questions however seemingly out of place but in our brilliant heads were the ones we should have been able to discover answers for.
Sound familiar? Do you recall wanting so much to speak up but finally knew you not only wouldn’t be heard you would feel really bad about your self for trying? When you stopped playing with sticks and rocks in the dirt because the hassle of standing up for your self became too difficult?
The good news is we can go back and embrace that. We can remember what we were discovering and loving to do just by answering the question “what do you love?” Did you love climbing trees? Did you love imagining that you could climb to the top? Did you love asking questions? Did you love reading books when the words meant nothing but the feel of the paper and smell of the binding did?
Did you love organizing your friends into a new game that you made up as you went along? Did you love sitting quietly with the one friend who would listen to your every word for hours?
The first time Maria told me the story of her Oprah dream I was wowed and I was enthralled and I was skeptical. I couldn’t see how it was going to happen. In the ensuing times she told me the story I wanted so much for it to come true, her genuine enthusiasm should have been enough to get her on the show. Every time and it was very often she repeated it I remembered my dreams and I was skeptical of them happening too. I was beyond doubtful.
What I have newly discovered is that I had stopped embracing them. And this is how our feelings are the best! They are like signals from the universe, heaven sent Morse code. In my over the top excitement for Maria in recent days, in the moments of joy that she did it I could feel sadness and I thought it was envy. But it was grief for not having done the same, for not having embraced a dream for as long as Maria has. Translating that feeling into what it really meant and then acting on it is the message the universe is sending.
It is not too late as long as I begin again.
The clock on your wrist and the calendar on the wall have nothing to do with the way the universe gets things done. So look back and pull out the things you loved as a child. No matter what it is write it down. It can be anything and it leads to everything you really want. Remembering that you loved climbing trees could lead you to planting them so another child can stand at the bottom and dream; to volunteering in a school library because you remember loving the feel of books (and while you are there you will let another child talk and ask as many questions as he wants). The curiosity you loved as a child could be part of the dream you re-discover for interviewing people on the street and selling the show to Oprah’s new network. Is what you loved as a child the book you will write now? Maria is already moved on to her next dream. But there is room for your dream, for my dream too.
So thank you Maria for embracing your dream and showing us how to do the same. You rock!
It is a new day and I suddenly want to write about Rise and Shine! But I have already used that title; damn it would be perfect for today.
My Dad would stand at the bottom of the stairs and in his unwavering voice say “rise and shine” and I would know it was going to be an excellent day. Even if the day unfolded in an ordinary way just hearing his voice was like getting a hug. Thirty years ago today he died. Okay, yes… I cannot see the screen, I am crying for the sadness still is strong. That is too many years to not have someone in your life that was so strong and safe and fun and wise.
Deep breathe. Alright, back to it now. The rise and shine of it all.
I can see now that on those days he was telling his children to get up and love the day. Come down stairs and celebrate that here is another day full of great things.
I think he probably had just come out of a Pothole. It makes sense now. I feel like rising and shining and I have just come out of a Pothole.
It is a new day. There is much to celebrate with lots of people I know manifesting left and right. Big dreams, old problems, new situations and even some listless old spots have suddenly disappeared and everything looks better.
That is what awaits us when we climb out of our Potholes. It isn’t just the messages on the rocks, the big or little insights we get, the answers to old questions. It is about our rising and shining. On those mornings my Dad wasn’t promising a day of sunshine or a day at the beach. He didn’t have a big family announcement to make. No, he was telling us to rise.
Rise from our Potholes like we do our beds. Pull back the covers and see what is new in the day. Run down the stairs to the delicious smell of breakfast and pile into our seats around the table full of laughter and full of plans.
That is what coming out of a Pothole looks like. Everything looks and smells good. Is it raining out? Well, let’s go play in it. We are the sunshine when we come out of a Pothole. My Dad was telling us to shine.
Thank you Dad! If you want to hang with us today then you and Mom should come home and spend it with us celebrating you both. We are having Nana’s 3rd Annual. Thank you Mom! I love you both, thank you for teaching me what coming out of a Pothole is all about.
I had fallen into a really big Pothole. I knew it for a while but I didn’t know it right away because I was saying it was a Pothole in someone else’s road. A couple of roads actually belonging to other people that crossed and there in the middle was this huge pothole that was waiting for any and all to fall into. That is a not so funny thing about Potholes, they may appear to belong to someone else but if your path crosses their path and you don’t jump out of the way you not only fall in; it is your Pothole too. And that is what happened to me, rather what I did.
But how did I come to it?
The answer is no matter how astute we think we are sometimes we are not seeing where we are going and down we go or we are exactly where we should be no matter how much it looks like someone else’s path. The Pothole had our name on it. While we want to think we are just trespassing (for their own good of course) in someone else’s Pothole, no, it is ours.
And here is what I know about this particular Pothole. Before I fell or maybe in this case jumped in I went about with my stuff and at the time was doing something fun and exciting that I really wanted to do. I could see the Pothole but surely it was not mine. Then out of the blue joy and energy falls by the wayside and in I go. I was not happy about this but I still thought it was not my Pothole. And I thought if the others would just figure it out, fill in their hole and move forward then I could too.
But alas, not so. And then I saw the rocks with messages on them.
The first one said, “Step Back” so I did. I moved away from the middle of the pit (this Pothole was deep) and from there I could see the rock that said “Really?”. Really is a word that has gone from an exclamation of wonder or question to expressing a sarcastic moment that is the softer way of saying ‘WTF’. It felt like it was saying all that but really, it was telling me to step back and look again. Was anything what I thought it was? Were any of my thoughts even close to what it was all about?
But of course I could not see any thing real until I got beyond the emotions of it all. It is funny to me how on the other side of getting emotional is truth and peace. And that is when I saw the rocks where placed like steps to let me climb out and they each had a message; Relationships, Attachment, Defense, Judgment, Anger, Belief, Faith, Trust, Authority and Speaking. Speaking my truths, my feelings, my needs.
This was a deep Pothole! There were a lot of steps to climb so I could get out. But then this Pothole needed room for all that it held for me. After I climbed out I had to look back inside to see those messages. Sometimes we get the big “ah-ha” while we are in the Pothole and sometimes we have to get out first and then look back at it.
So don’t run away from the Potholes you fall into. Take a deep breathe, have a cup of tea, go for a long walk. But do look back and if you have to, lean over to see inside. You won’t fall back into it but you will fall in another one and you will climb out of that one too. Just know there is no such thing ‘really’ as Pothole Trespassing. If you are in one it is yours!
Have you hit a pothole lately? This could be in the top 10 of most common experiences. It is Pothole Season!
In New England it may be one of our worse. Enough money to fill them wouldn’t be enough to keep up with what Nature dished out this winter. Sometimes we can see the hole up ahead but hit it anyway, or we once in awhile miss it and just don’t know how that happened.
I find worse than the damage to my vehicle is the damage to my Ego when I manage to forget where the biggest ones are on my well travelled routes. And BAM!@#$%. Hit one.
Those potholes we may all agree warrant the curse words they also catch and defining them as a ‘just a disruption in the surface, formed by fatigue and frequently invisible’ does nothing to make them pleasant.
And you can find Potholes everywhere. They are in the road of our Life too. Life Potholes!
That is what I call the times my emotions have sunk, I am low. There has been a disruption in my Life, it has worn me out and I am fatigued. Frequently I don’t see it coming. But there is that feeling of hitting bottom, feeling low, stuck in a rut, what is the damage going to be this time. Sound familiar? Potholes…
I discovered the image of a pothole, a VERY BIG POTHOLE when I named a particular time when I wondered what the heck just happened. Yesterday all is good and then suddenly I am stuck. I took the vision of the potholes outside in the road to potholes inside, in my Life. It happens, we hit them.
While there is no good reason for potholes in the streets there are things about the ones in our Life that we can work with.
Start with knowing we all hit potholes. We don’t need a license and car to hit them. We don’t even need to be the driver though if you are frequently hitting potholes you might first look to see who is really driving. It should always be you.
So I get this image of being in a Pothole. Once I know I am at the bottom it actually feels better, sucks dreadfully, but feels better because I know where I am and how bad it is. I look around, what did I bring with me? Do I have anything for entertainment while I sit waiting for a tow truck? A good book, a walk outside, conversation with a friend….. a front porch, pen and paper.
Unlike with the traffic out in the streets we can sit in our Pothole for as long as we want. Only sitting there though is wasting Life, just gotta say that. How long you sit at the bottom of your Pothole is how long you are not sort of out there living. We need to spend some time there though, the biggest reason you might be hitting lots of Potholes in your Life is you aren’t staying in it long enough to know why you are there.
That is why we have these Potholes. Always, always, you will find treasures waiting for you in the pit of your Pothole. Little gold nuggets, slices of silver and sparkling diamonds with names like self-love, forgiveness, strength, spirit, trust, more love and the best, the biggest nuggets are answers to your questions. They are waiting for you to retrieve them and bring them to the surface. Put them in your pocket and climb out.
We don’t always find those gifts, we don’t have our eyes open, and we don’t even know they could be there. That is why we fall into the same Pothole time and time again. And again. Until we find the gift.
This is how I took on my Potholes. First, I recognized these bumps in my road were not making me happy and they were not working for me. I saw how I would fall helplessly downwards then crash to the bottom. Hmmm, looks like a pothole in the road. So I saw myself getting back out. Okay, hope that doesn’t happen again. But of course… here comes another. As I was falling in there were billboards with words like judgment, saboteur, poor-me. What? So I imagined the Potholes getting smaller and smaller until I could step over them. I realized they are part of Life and there was no magical patch to fill them all in with.
That is when I saw they held gifts. At the bottom of every Pothole was my personal treasure chest. I was feeling better about something for a reason. What is it? Ahhh, where did that answer come from? How did I change my feeling, my perspective, and my path? The signs on the way up were positive, happy and felt great.
So these Potholes aren’t all bad? Now not only do I need to accept them I need to see how they can work for me. I can make them smaller but if I want to get the gifts out I need to be able to step into them.
I don’t always find my treasures. What knocked me into my Pothole might have me blinded temporarily. Then once I feel the slightest motion of upward movement I recognize that I am feeling better. It comes usually when I open my eyes; I can see lightness and a way out with my gift in hand.
I am not advocating to go looking for Potholes but know you do fall in them and there is a valuable reason for it. You can always look back at the last Pothole without going down it again. Just take a peak and see if you can discover what that gift was. So keep your shovel handy and when you fall into the next one start digging, find your treasures. Bring them to the surface with you. You will find they are what forms your road map of Life. Get on that road, potholes and all. Enjoy!
Dedicted to Trish who coached me towards reaching my top goal this week with her wisdom and energy.
It is 3:24 AM. An hour ago I got out of bed after laying awake for 30 minutes; I sent an email. A long over due email. I went straight back to bed and waited for everything to change. It has. I heard the sound of Austen the Cat chasing a mouse. The sound was very faint and I knew I wouldn’t be finding mice parts around this old house anytime soon because Austen is old too. But Austen was atleast able to chase them and I knew he was happy. He growled a couple of times for my interrupting his precious time but he made do and is now curled up in tight ball on the couch.
I can still chase and I want to be happy, if nothing else I love being happy. I flew off the covers and got back up. In the darkness I turned on the computer, went to the kitchen and grabbed what was left in a box of White Cheddar Cheese-Its and a can of diet Coke. A recipe for soul-ful nourishment that I learned from my old and still dear friend Guy in his cabin on his Vermont mountain. I stopped in the dining room and picked up in my arms the pile of journals and notebooks I had stacked there yesterday. Instead of going through them as I planned I tossed them all in the waste basket. I am glad the woodstove is not going because I would have thrown them in there and then been mesmerized by the fire and the heat. Tonight, or rather this early morning is all about removing those distractions that are used to mummify before we are dead.
As I chew crackers I recall the wonderful funny story I wrote that was published in a magazine years back.
Now I remember throwing my warm covers off of me a few minutes ago. It is Spring, It might still snow and it feels very chilly every time I slow my fingers down. But it is Spring.
I close my eyes and remember. After climbing back into my warm and comfortable bed and waiting for that change I would have been satisfied for the ache in my shoulders and my lower side to fade away; would have been completely pleased to just fall back asleep and let this interruption disappear into the night with hours to go before dawn. Tomorrow would be okay. Everything always is in my world. I accept what is and keep moving laughing as much as I can but not as much as I would like.
Suddenly I remembered something. I can close my eyes and keep typing while I see that I am the center of this Universe. That is what forced me to get back up. Closing my eyes and not worrying about where my fingers are on the keyboard I am the3 center of this Universe.
We all are but neverminding the rest of you for as long a moment as I can hold. Head back, eyes closed and see the Universe swirling around me. How can I think anything is more important than that? How can I think I don’t have my own power and it is sooooooo good. How can I not let my feet feel the earth every time I step.
For all that goes on around me today and tomorrow and tonight none of it has the power I have and if I doubt that I only need to close my eyes and see that I am always the center of this Universe.
I have a deck of cards, an off-shoot to Tarot cards that I made my personal set. I don’t use them with any one ever and I recommend everyone have a box of cards that holds only their story and their energy.
Whenever I feel the desire I open the box, shuffle them and take 3 cards off the top. The first one will tell me what is ‘up’ for me at the moment, the second will say what to do about it and the third will always hint at the outcome.
Three days ago I pulled 3 cards. However, the last time I did it, about 6 weeks ago, the 3 cards were so brilliant I didn’t put them back in the deck. Instead they sat on top. I looked at them again and then shuffled them into the deck. What happened next quietly told me things were changing but I should have listened to the part that said hold on tight, your Universe is taking off.
After shuffling well I turned over the same 3 cards! That knocked even my socks off. The first was the Elm tree and it was telling me to trust my intuition; the second was the flower Carnation and it read follow my passion; the third was the Redwood tree and the Redwood is believed to be the home of the oldest spirits upon the planet. They possess great knowledge and wisdom and pulling this card smacks of what is open to me.
So a few days later it does not surpise me that I am sitting here with the darkest hour of the night about to arrive and knowing yes, my life has changed again….
Because I opened my eyes in the darkness I can openly trust my intuition; I am following my passion every time my feet touch the floor, the road, the dirt and even the snow that will come again. But most importantly, while the crackers are gone, the fire out, the stillness about to be shaken by rattling school buses and the faces of people filled with questions of their own my life changed a few hours ago. No, that is wrong… I noticed a change a few hours ago…. damn I still don’t have it.
This is what happened. I stepped out of your Universe and back into my own. I recognized it even if I have not looked at it for some time. In my Universe is my power and my wisdom, my freedom and my breathe.
I will admire yours, everyones. I will love to play in yours and learn from you but everytime I open my eyes and not just when I close them I see my Universe holds all that I need for it to hold. Yours holds the same for you but while the sun still has not risen that is not my concern. Make it yours though. I want only right now to get back to sleep before those coming up my hill to teach what they know and for those going to learn what is waiting for them in their Universe already, wake up and try rattling my Universe.
I probably won’t watch the Academy Awards this evening. I am not a big movie person. If I could find the Red Sox game I would watch that. Instead of either I plan to be hanging out with friends. We will practice some healings on each other and chat, and chat and chat. I will come home with more than one idea for an essay.
I am going there with this one on my mind. And, it is about a movie.
I saw the King’s Speech two nights ago. I went primarily because of Colin Firth. Ever since his part as Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice I have had one eye open for any roles he played. That I love history and the stories of people added to my Colin Firth thing meant I would be disappointed if I did not go. Then the movie and the acting blew me away.
The King’s Speech is about a man who heard what his Soul’s purpose was every time he spoke. The movie does not talk about it like that and as clear as it is he may not have made the connection. He may well have died not understanding that while he lived a purposeful life it was also exactly what his Soul came to do. The very great pain that he endured also helped him give his Nation the energy and spirit and faith to get through WWII. But this movie was not about that.
It is a little bit about the man who became King and the boy who was severely maligned in his childhood. But really, it is about the other man. It is not until the end of the movie that the key piece of his life came out but I won’t be a movie spoiler.
Instead, I walked out of there barely thinking of the ice storm that could be waiting for us and I wasn’t thinking of Colin Firth at all. It was the story of the other man who built a life for himself and his family out of his heart.
While someone might think his behavior odd as certainly did the King and her majesty, and threatening as did the King’s men he instead looked out at the world with his Soul. He was doing what he loved. He laughed often, he did not think his behavior was odd and he wasn’t afraid of himself.
I liked that it was called the King’s Speech, it made it less obvious and then more interesting to be about the character who became an intimate friend of the King. Only when I had to step carefully on the ice did I not think of that man’s story.
I did not know it was going to be in the movie and I am sure a movie just about him and if it was done well would have many scenes that are dismal and painful. I dare not Google to find out if he lost his eldest son in the War. Instead I want to see in my heart how he saw. What sounded like good wit was his reality. What made his quick step was likely his joy for his life. The ingredients of compassion and understanding made him look wise. And he was.
He figured out that living his dream and being his passion made for a rich life deserving of an Oscar. Of course he didn’t know that but he lived his life anyway.
Many people do this and they don’t get movies but you do notice them; their smile, their shiny glowing eyes, the quick step and how they carry joy. You may not know exactly how they do it but you can recognize it.
Okay, I am going to watch the Award show for a bit. “And now for the Feature Presentation, the winner is … “Look in the mirror. The Oscar can go to you, not for acting but for living your life purposefully and with your Soul as the script you will get the golden award for best screenplay.”
If you knew you would find gold, guaranteed, every time you dug for it, would you do it on a regular basis? What if that gold is just waiting for you to open your eyes and see it. And there is no fluctuating market controlling the value of this nugget, it is always priceless.
Question for homework in preparation for Chakra 4 weekend coming up at the Rhys Thomas Institute of Energy Medicine www.rhysthomasinstitute.com What have the signposts in your life been? This is from the reading of Michael Newton’s Journey of Souls. An incredible book and it is high on my list of recommended reading. Quickly, this book is about having a conversation with your Soul in between the lives it has lived and the one you are living with it right now. Less simply put, it is about your life purpose.
I am very familiar with some of my signposts. There was the dream I had for years and years about a place I could not recognize until one day shortly after dawn in January a few years back I came out of the mountains as a fog lifted and at the next curve on the highway there was the town. Every building was exactly as that dream placed them beginning 20 years earlier. This was a signpost and represented many things. First, of course, there was no question about the place I was heading to that day. What I was embarking on was exactly right. This sign was huge, I mean a whole town! In a different state! Like any turn you take on the road it changed the direction of my life. It placed me on the path I was supposed to get on. That signpost really read, “Yes, there is something bigger going on than just living until we die.” It wasn’t just about the place I was going to or the people there but it was also about this dream I had repeatendly for years. How could I dream about a place I had never been to that was coming down the road literally years later?
That signpost took years to come about. I wasn’t supposed to leave my house the first night I dreamt of it and travel until I found that spot on the highway. I was supposed to keep on living but having that dream made me wonder and ask questions and to seek answers. The dream itself was a signpost.
Signposts or messages often come in the form of the people we meet. The person who wasn’t in your life until two years ago but now you can’t imagine how it would be if you never knew them. But the key here is not just that you like this person, enjoy them, have fun; it is about how you are growing and changing and moving forward because of them. They are a signpost.
It is not always good, or at least it does not always turn out well (at first). Sometimes that person is a big thorn in your side. But look beyond the person or event that is a game changer for you. See what the message is. What lesson did you learn that helps paint the picture of your life purpose?
I met a person once who by all accounts is great. Friendly, kind and someone I loved to be around. Then suddenly it wasn’t the same anymore. I had to look past the loss and even beyond the “why didn’t I see that coming?” question we often ask ourselves. I looked instead at what I learned in the relationship, what my great experiences were and where I was. Instead of lamenting for long the loss, or staying for long in a place filled with angst and blame I stood up, looked around and looked within and kept moving. That person was a signpost. Someone I was going to meet in this life and regardless of how it went down or looked or even felt like, I was going to learn something that is part of what I am here for.
Oftentimes these people come in and out in less than five minutes. Typically they are in the line at the grocery store or they are the clerk behind the register. The story you read in the news or while a co-worker is telling everyone about an event they know of you drift off and find yourself feeling a huge “ah-ha” somewhere in your body. Maybe you run to the phone and tell someone you love them or you make a decision in that moment to stop a certain behavior and from there your life feels different. You just uncovered a signpost. And maybe because they found an important signpost or two in their lives pay particular attention to the elders you come across in your life. In a brief moment with any one of them you will find a rock and see gold in it.
You can look back in your life and see a signpost you missed. Well you didn’t really miss it if you are seeing it now. Remember the dream that took 20 years for me to place. But if you look back and find people or events that make a difference now, that teach you something about your self or your life you have discovered gold again. The lesson may well feel completely different then when you were younger and this is called growing and learning and living. And like my dream, I was meant to figure it out 20 years later. That is when it would mean the most.
What is a signpost really? They are the people, places, events that you were meant to experience in your life and they were meant to help you in whatever way they do to learn and grow. They have another purpose too. I call it the primary purpose because when you get that signposts are part of what your Soul chose for this Life to help in the purpose of it being here then you see the connection you have to your Soul. You discover that there is something going on here besides people living on Earth. Signposts are the magic of the universe, the gold nuggets that our Souls sent on ahead to help us in this life journey. (You might want to read Journey of Souls now.)
What are the signposts in your life? Remember, we oftentimes bump into them and still don’t recognize them. And sometimes we have to shovel the crap (snow) away to get a good look at them. But they are always there. Everyone has them, more than one, in fact lots. You just have to stop for a moment to see, and then move forward knowing there will be more.
Next time….. When you are a signpost for someone else!
Yesterday I witnessed an in the face moment of loving each other. Those moments are taking place always and everywhere but when you get to stop and recognize one of them it is the best.
So here is to allowing your Self to show up (regardless of the weather forecast); going with the flow; seeing your Life in someone else’s dreams; letting Life happen and moving chairs and tables to make room for it.
www.butterflymoms.wordpress.com for more of the story and dreams of a Butterfly Mom!
I had to make a new path for myself last week. I had known for a while that it was necessary and that if I didn’t do it I would be regretting it soon. The time when it would be too late was fast approaching so I made a plan and dug in. I am happy to say it went smoother than I thought and the payoff has been great. This path was so important to me that it has caused me to think about the wherewithal of the paths in our lives.
This is one of those paths in life that I will have to make again but for now the path to my wood shed is clear. Well it was this morning. So while I will go back out now to attend to this path I will think about other paths in my life that may need to be checked on and new ones waiting to be created.
Have you thought about your paths lately?
Recently someone passed on that has left a footprint with me that I didn’t know was there. I figured it out when I passed the Quaker Meeting House the other day and he popped back into my head.
When I heard he died I saw serenity around it even though I had not seen him in a while. The last time was while singing songs for peace on a dark night. I felt the loss but I didn’t immediately wish I had seen him since then or even more often. And that speaks to the kind of man he was to me. I didn’t know him like so many did but he was one who could leave a wide path.
The mark he left with me looks like an umbrella but not because he was a large man and could protect from the elements but because he was wise. It looks like a new box of crayons that is waiting for hands to create beautiful pictures because his artistry was evident in everything he did. And it looks like a bursting tree on a summer day because he was full of life.
And in his unknowing way he let me sit under that tree without having to ask permission because the footprint he left with me is all about being strong in our beliefs and calm in our kindness.
Under the tree with his footprints all around I remember that he smiled whenever he saw me. I am sure I noticed it then because I was always glad to see him in a meeting or peace event or even the occasional bumping into each other in a local store.
But as I drove around doing errands a couple of days ago I thought more about this man I didn’t know as intimately as others did and then instead of feeling like I missed out I felt instead the grandness of a person who lived his life as he wanted to.
This remarkable man passed on and I am so glad he didn’t sweep away the tracks he made. We should take a look at the footprints we leave everyday and see how often we can smile at the trail they make.
My Musings for a New Year aka Stop Blaming the Stories
I love the Winter Solstice. It is still best when spent on a winter mountain in Vermont with warmth and quiet and comfort. Snowshoeing with the moon or tending to the heat of the cabin are still parts of it that I do not look to erase with a better story. For me stories are the best and rank high if not highest in the manner of our living. My spirit not only invests in them, it invents them. We all do and to say otherwise is false. I think stories and fables and all else like it are under-rated. They are the means of living. Take away the mountains and the man and the bright winter moon and there is still a story to nourish me when I need it.
Oh yes, stories, fables, beware! If you get caught in a story of any kind you what? Implode, explode, sit still, distill, wage war or melt? No surely. It is not the story to be blamed. It is not the beliefs either that wilt away this precious life. It is you!
Really. All you. Now that is scary and so we blame stories and storytellers and the like. If you are sitting today being much the same as last year it is not the stories you have been told or told. It is you and there is a difference and the stories really don’t care. They will go on long after we are gone. Even when the story is changed, forgotten or denied it still exists. But it doesn’t care. All of our stories sit recorded in the library of our Soul but even then they are like the breathe we just took. Trying to catch that breathe or that story again will never really happen. That second breathe is not the same as the first one and neither are our stories. As much as we tell them over and over and for some people it is all there is over and over and over again, in their essence stories are the very fabric of the energy that we are.
Now what do you do with that? If I took away all of your stories (because that is what we are to believe or better said, that is what I need you to do) so that you could move forward and live more fully and be happy and content, have less pain and sorrow and well, be more alive; isn’t the first thing we would do is make a story out of it? You would, and I would too. What we do next though is the piece, the peace, the only thing that matters.
You might take a tiny step forward then fall back onto your bed of old stories, quite comfortably too. You may repeat this throughout your life.
You might run ahead, leaping, jumping but never touching the ground again. You will declare the end of your stories, of all stories until your last breathe only to find when you pass over the first thing you have to do is tell that very story.
Maybe you reject the very notion of stories (about yourself). You will go on living this life without seeming to move one step away from (into) your being and you will only fool yourself with that. The neatest thing is that when you move forward out of this life you will find the story you didn’t have was the most amazing one ever.
Or maybe, you embrace stories. Maybe you can see how joyous it is that we have them. The creator could have made something other than chocolate and we would be fine with it. Our means of life could be done in a way other than a beating heart and we wouldn’t know the difference. But let us keep sacred our stories and the stories of others. Don’t let them trip you up or hold you back. Don’t let them be over used or abused or used as weapons. Keep them as sacred objects that our Souls cherish and honor and gave to us as the means of remembering what we are here for. Living. Now that is the story.
Saturday January 29 & Sunday January 30; 9 to 5 Introduction to Healing Arts Chakra balancing, intuitive healing, yoga, acupuncture, chair massage, reflexology, nutrition, Reiki, Burdenko pool healing & more. No charge to come in, discover the building and get information. Reduced rates for individual & group sessions. More info coming including on Crystal Bowl Healing! Discover what may restore, invigorate, soothe & heal you! See here for details: Three Rivers Community Retreat 2011
I am thinking today about the really serious nature of being. We suppose that we need something new in order to be happy, content or able to continue in life. I mean we really believe this and so we live everyday like that. After buying new stuff we most often think we need a new job. Go ahead, change your job, career, mate or street and see what happens. The place of not feeling good about your life will return, oftentimes before you have settled in to the new. For some it is doing for others, all day long in every moment running around doing for someone else. We contend that it is all okay.
You may notice that the new mate is similar to the old, the new job has the same type of difficult people and the new outfit did not change a thing or at the end of the day no one appreciated all that you did. What is that? You will say wrong job, mate or need more clothes again. Really! You may need another class or meditation or meltdown. Double Really!
Though, sometimes we do need to change our job or mate. Move far away or change careers. We may have to do it multiple times until it feels right. Helping others and having meltdowns are the best! But if we aren’t looking in more than we look out we are running in a maze. Look out is exactly that, we are on guard, we are the sentry, paying attention to what is going on out side of our being instead of what is our being.
The nakedness of this seems far more real when nothing changes. We do not change a thing and everyday of our life looks the same as today will be. If you can honestly predict what you will say or think in response to your co-worker on Monday, and it won’t be all that nice, just acceptable; then you are in the maze. If you cannot even dream about your life being different then you are in the maze. Or when you have those dreams or wish for new thoughts, new behaviors, how far deeper into the maze do you go? Was any day in the past year different than another for you?
Can you are identify with this? If you can then you are blessed and have taken the first step out of the maze. The next step is to stop, breathe and look inside. Listen to what your heart says and hear what matters. You have to have the dialogue.
Do it in talking to God; walking on the beach, sitting quietly for an hour or writing. But see what I said here, it is not about talking to God. It is in the talking to God, in the writing and seeing what your being has to say. It is in the walk or quiet drive. It is in sitting on the porch. It is in there you find peace, questions, answers, angst and peace again.
All we can have is our own being. So get to know yours. What it likes and who it doesn’t. Listen to it and hear what matters. In that being is no one else but you and if you really listen you will find all the safe and wonderful truths about your life. You won’t have to be on look out any more.
I am off to meet a classmate for coffee. Suddenly I realize I have not managed my time so well. Traffic is heavy and there is no highway route to get there. Through the city and 1, 2, 3 towns, need gas first. Then I get every red light.
I try not to get anxious because that means I’ll get mad. I am hopeful as I start moving that I’ll make the next light before it turns red. Each and every time I think positive, the next one will be green.
Now I have a stretch of road with no traffic lights but what is the speed limit? This car in front of me is going half as fast as it could. Ahhh, I have passed him and now up over the hill for the next train of (red) lights.
I dared myself to look at the time and see I am probably going be late. One swear; I can have a little angst. All the while that voice in me is saying ‘what exactly is the big deal?’
Where is your belief and trust in the Universe? You will get there at exactly the right time. Why do I have to get these red lights? I am going to be late I answered back. What is wrong with that? I don’t like being late, I get uncomfortable. I got the last word in and stopped listening and I continued to be agitated with every light. I at least saw the traffic coming the other way was super heavy and I was glad to not be in that.
Finally I am there and who pulls in right behind me? The person I am meeting! She jumps out of her car and with a big hug she says “how perfect is our timing”.
So once again I spent the previous 30 minutes being agitated and even though it was a mild case I did not enjoy the ride. I could have been singing or listening to a Carolyn Myss cd or practicing my French. I could have driven happily along with anticipation of the great time ahead or I could have just been in the moment.
What I could not do was trust the Universe.
And I knew it the whole time I was driving. When every red light came into sight I was seeing an opportunity to trust that everything was perfect and fine. But my fear won out and it didn’t have to.
It takes practice to get out of a habit of any kind. I have done a lot of work on this one. I get lots of opportunities to try out my belief that soon I will have no doubt and my trust will be like breathing. I will always get where I am going at exactly the right time and the people I am with will always be the ones I need to be with at that moment.
So Simon Says keep at it. Notice when the only thing missing is to trust God. Eventually my rides will have no red lights, the car beside me will but not me because it won’t matter.
It isn’t just the big hard life moments that trusting your God/Universe is the best course of action, it has to be in all of the little moments and short rides too. That is when peace begins.
When is the last time you listened to a really good story, an extraordinary fairy-tale? I heard one recently when I bumped into an acquaintance I had not seen in 5+ years. I was so happy to see her. It is a great feeling to see someone you like, to catch up with and reconnect.
But I was struck by her story, what was going on in her life was the exact same story I heard years before. It jarred me that after all this time and from someone who is so interesting, intelligent and up to the minute knowledgeable on current events, that she had a dusty old fairy-tale to tell.
I knew it was possible that she really didn’t have a new narrative. We can be in a place where it seems our life is stuck and is not changing but if we stay there then we are the primary character of our own fairy-tale instead of our Life.
So when is the last time you told a fable? When you tell your family how your day was, is it the same story they hear every night over dinner? When you climb into bed is the story in your head a bit familiar? Are you the friend who doesn’t have a new tale to tell? Time to turn the page.
Every day gives you a new chronicle of your Life, every moment. So how can anyone have the same story 5 years later? Whatever is in that old tale just needs to go. Pack it away.
I am on the lookout for Fairy Tales and when I hear one I am going to say “What a nice fairy-tale, I love it. But now how about a new story.”
Here is the great twist on fairy-tales. If you don’t know what new story (of your Life) there is to tell make it up. That’s what fairy-tales are after all. Tell the story of what you want to be doing, who you want to be. Then see the magic happen when your Fairy-Tale comes true.
Sadly I have closed many windows* as the air cools off dramatically now when the sun goes down. (*Note, not all of them yet!) It is one of my least favorite things to do and I am trying hard to not think about opening them again next Spring. I save that thought until the first day of the New Year when it becomes a daily ritual. Anticipation is a great medicine.
While I have the chores of gathering firewood, bringing in summer chairs and tools and saying goodnight to the plants I enjoyed all summer I am also thinking about what else I am surrounded by that nourishes my Soul and Spirit. Everything we do is feeding our Soul and that is a diet to be most attentive to.
A staple in the Soul’s Diet is the friends we have. Picking ones who support our highs and catch us in the falls may be the best we ever do for our Self. I can see the bees and hummingbirds of weeks ago and how they went from flower to flower. They knew to have variety in their diet and to not suck any one of them dry.
Time to go shopping! This fits everyone’s budget because your friendships should not cost you anything that you don’t have plenty of to give. You don’t have to clean out a closet to make room or fill the tank to travel from store to store. You begin with you and answer the question ‘What do you truly want to have in your life?’ What is your Soul tugging at you to bake?
Just like you need to know what the meal is you are going to cook before you start pulling ingredients from the pantry and fridge; knowing what you want in your Life is critical. If you don’t want indigestion and heartburn you think about what you are going to eat. Try that now with your friendships. What you are getting there is your creation, the diet you chose to have.
This is not a call to change the diet completely, lose friends or make all new ones but instead to look at the nourishment you are getting from them. Are you hungry for something more after time with your friends or is your pantry of friends kind of bare? Do you know if the friends you have don’t fit the path of your Soul? That can be a hard one just like parting with a spice on your shelf that you have depended on and trying something new may not be easy for you. But when you know what it is you want to eat, what you want in the meal of your life then you will find the ingredients to make it.
How many times do you say “I don’t know what to make for dinner!” Start there. What do you want? What does your Soul want? Once you have that you will get what you need to make it and very often when you go to your pantry you will find it all there.
If your pantry of friends is well stocked let them know. Some you might need to shake before opening if it has been a while. And for a new adventure try mixing some together in ways you have not considered before and see what you get. My mother called that cooking with love and it was always the most delicious and nourishing meal, though it was frightening to put the first spoonful in my mouth it never killed me or even made me sick.
Do you have a tight circle of friends or one friend who is skipping down a path of her own along side yours? Is she close enough that you can hold hands; stop and play along the way, or yell out a warning when it is needed? Can you see your friends across the road moving ahead because in part you were there for them and they chose you? It is the time of year when we and all animals look to stock up for the Winter. While you are filling your pantry, woodshed, getting sand and new shovels see if you have the friends you need too. If you do tell them, if you don’t go get them and begin to anticipate the tasty magic you can cook up together.
I don’t like using a GPS. Today as I hear of another rash of broken into vehicles for this apparently highly treasured instrument I have given it some thought about why. Is a GPS just a fad? Well not according to the looks I get when I decline the offer of using one. For a lot of people a GPS is needed like headlights at night and wipers in the rain and soon every auto will have it built in.
It seems that we cannot take the chance of getting lost on the road, not making it some place on time and truly cannot risk a traffic jam. All really good points but what about the rest of our lives. How much effort and desire do we put into getting someplace in our life that isn’t found on a road map or linked into a GPS?
I think there is a correlation to the resolve we have over getting someplace on the paved road and the disconnect we have to doing the same in our personal life. You cunningly avoided a traffic jam last time you used your Global Positioning System but can you see the rash of stand still moments in your life that not only slow you down but keep you from your true destination?
Ok wait, if you don’t ‘believe’ stop reading and go play or work or something. But if you know in the tiniest amount that there is a reason we are here then do you also see that you are ignoring the accidents, bad weather and wrong turns that are preventing you from realizing that very thing. Why are you here?
Point is if we get lost using a GPS, well whose fault is that? The damn GPS of course. Yeah, take the chance of getting lost in this life journey? No. That looks like it would be my fault if I get lost or hit something. So let’s just make it all about highways, street signs and weather conditions and not me. Besides,
The best thing is we come equipped with a personal GPS system. One that cannot be stolen. It comes with a rechargeable energy source and it cannot be nuked out of the atmosphere or get bad weather signal interference.
It is our SNS, Soul Navigational System.
How to use it? Yikes, there are no directions! Each one is completely unique so copying the way your neighbor, friend or family member uses theirs will just mess you up. Are you having a moment right now with the nervous memory of trying to set up your cell phone or iPod or that GPS? Okay, it is not that bad.
The key is you get to create this road map for yourself. You are already the engineer, graphic artist or whatever is needed to design and implement your personal Soul Navigational System. What you put on your map is your choice. The destination? Well you do need to talk to your Soul about that. Yes, your SNS is equipped with voice recognition.
Now just say Hello! Or a quiet hello. Either way you have just hit the on switch to your Soul’s Navigational System. Where are you going?
Does it seem your spirit changes in a flash? Mine does. Beautiful morning on the porch. A friend stops for a moment, a neighbor and a couple of dogs too. This is better than housework but the laundry to be started is lingering in my head. I cut it short but really bring the porch in with me because while I am hanging clothes on the line I am processing what else came for a visit on the porch.
Is her name Ego? First I called her Sad because that is what I was feeling. Her middle name was Angry, there was some of that in there too. Her last name is Me because if I do nothing else I have to own it. That means I can’t sit on the porch and blame someone else for what I was feeling. I could not do housework with the mad push of a broom (though that oftentimes mean a much cleaner house) without owning it. I could, but that is not authentic, it is not truthful.
I let the feelings walk around with me but then I stopped and smiled. Note not laughing because I was still feeling above said things but smiled somewhere inside my stomach because when my spirit changes it is for a very good reason. It was a fallback moment. I thought I had gotten to a very good place with this story. I thought I had processed all of it and was done, made it to the top and did not have to keep climbing out of it. But in a moment with a couple of words like “ I went…” I was falling backwards into the emotion of hurt. An immediate rehash of the loss of a relationship began to come up again for me. I didn’t like that my spirit was stepping back into a place of hurt and helplessness. And I was feeling some angst that this was even on my porch.
It reminds me of when I was trying to get onto the very large raft out on a lake a few weeks ago. I climbed up a couple of the rungs and then fell back into the water. Then I started back up again making it a little further. I could have quit there. I could have exclaimed and believed that getting that far was success, turned around and had fun doing something else. I fell back into the water again but then made it all the way to the top, over and into the raft. It was a huge accomplishment and great fun. The next time I went into the water and swam to the raft I knew the process of getting up there was going to include a couple of attempts, a couple of steps forward and a splash backwards. Each time I tried I would get further than the time before.
That is what this morning’s porch time is about. We never get anywhere without a few steps forward and a couple back, repeating until we get to the top. But what is the top? (After getting on to the raft I could have taken up the challenge of being pulled around the lake on the back of a speeding boat. Yeah, maybe next summer! )
So when my Spirit drifted to this unexpected place today I see that it allowed me to remember that nothing is ever over, there are always a few more steps to take and if I have to fall back into the water to get momentum then okay. Being in the water is not so bad. This story that I thought was finished is not either. My spirit was reminding me of that. So, now I am more aware and open to letting it continue because getting to the next rung will be great.
When your Spirit changes suddenly see if you can’t get into neutral, stand on whatever rung of the ladder you land on or float on your back if that is all you can do. It will keep you from drowning. While there you can see that something good is happening. You will be able to turn over and swim to shore or climb back onto the ladder and go higher this time. Both are fine, it is getting into the water that matters.
On a clear cold but refreshing day I walked out of a Boston medical center parking garage and replied “I am not coming back here, I think they will kill me.” I went home and did everything I could to get healthy my way, traditional with me in charge mixed in with meditating, praying and playing. So far, 16 years later, I am all good. (I jump in to add the caveat ‘of course that could change in a moment’ but that is for a future tale about true trust and this Enforcer profile thing I have.)
So much of the hard stuff from that time has passed. I can get teary-eyed still about one day but the thing I remember is how much I didn’t get carried away, emotional and scared. That made me think there was something really wrong with me. Stage IV cancer, okay very scary, but why is it that deep inside I felt okay. Physically I was in tough shape and damn sick with the requisite problems that come with hospitalizations. Mostly I wanted my life back. The mundane single mother life stuff that I totally loved, that’s what I was longing for.
I knew how to be a difficult patient, a funny one and sometimes a missing one. All the while it seemed like ordinary days interrupted by needing help for everything. I never said that out loud before. Back then, I would say the most important things were showing my 13 year old son life goes on for him as it was and not dying before my mother.
Now it is suddenly obvious. I knew my path then I just didn’t know what a path was.
It has taken years of porch talk, then suddenly the obvious is no longer unclear. I have a path and it is called my life. Oh, and damn, everyone has one. Okay so not special today either!
But I do have the blessing of using my front porch and of recognizing there are many angels and guides that have my back. So many of them in fact it is really hard for me to fall backwards off a healing table. I seriously had to tell them to move away and trust I would be okay.
The path includes in no small way that day in Boston when I said I would not be back. It includes some big life decisions before that when I felt outside of my body because I really didn’t want to go along with what I was doing. Wouldn’t change any of them now but I also, and this is the big piece, I doubted the experience of seeing what was going on almost like in the third person. I dismissed knowing I was standing in my kitchen and telling that self I was looking at to call the doctor though I did call the doctor. I laughed but surely dismissed the real message behind the repetitive dream of a place I would find myself in 20 years after the dreams started. And the nickname that is known by a tiny group but showed up outside the real town of that same dream.
Some of it is that in living a fairly ordinary life with minimal quirks there was a known danger in sharing everything out loud. At least I thought that. Maybe I was right and that is another of those out of body experiences telling me how it works.
The time is now that I embrace all of it and welcome more. Bring it on I say to my universe. Which just means I can see now what I noticed but didn’t see before. I can see an entire life that is different than the one I lived. Now I get to rewrite this life and with that I change the life I am living now.
On the front porch people are usually sitting quietly or seeming to rock back and forth in rhythm with the street or the wind. Sometimes a radio is giving a score and on the stoop sits a neighbor glad for a reason to stop for a while. Oh no, that is the picture from an old movie, or a distant memory. Who sits on their porch anymore?
I do. Less often in busy times but enough that it is now well known as a fun place to be; a quiet place at dawn; a hiding place; a place that breathes; a place to wait and see what is coming up the hill. Often I pick times when only the birds know I am there. I contemplate the day before me or the day behind me.
Sometimes I am hiding from work to be done in the house or grass to be cut in the back. Ten projects to be started, ten more to finish and I will sit on the front porch instead. My eyes are blurry from too much computer but adjust quickly to see the birds. I can count the weeds to be pulled on another day. This is when I grow my Soul and recover my Spirit.
Equally good are the times I am not alone. A neighbor stops, a friend drives up, a sister pulls into the driveway. Or they enter by way of the call on the phone and I take them to the porch with me. We talk up and down the hill, in and out of the clouds. Yesterday’s story, today’s tragedy (tissues available) but always on my porch is the hint of tomorrow. That is how my front porch is the picture of movement in place.
We may look like we are sitting there with nothing to do, relaxing after a long day or waiting on someone but surely as there is a porch then there is evolution. On my porch, sometimes it is a revolution. The chakras may be lining up or hiding but the energy on the porch is getting an alignment for the action coming. It might be expected to come up one side of the hill or the other, out of the pines or the clouds but the first thing I tell anyone on the porch is that it will always come from the heart.
That is how the front porch heals and it is how we grow our Souls and recover our Spirits together.